The Carousels

Sunday, April 27, 2008

i wonder what have i been doing all nights when im at hm. Havnt been updating havnt been doing much. Other than workin I guess. Oh yes, have been sending resumes! hehehe luckily it paid off after going to sooo many interviews. Got 2 offers le. I'm still thinking of which one to take. One is with a big company, doing recruitment... then the other one is with recruitment consultancy, which is what i have been wanting to do... But then again, to go into recruitment consultancy will be quite difficult for me coz I have little expereince. In this, you will need to deal with alot of people, some big shots.. And if i cant even handle those situations, how to? So I guess more or less I should be taking the recruitment one...

Oh well I still have time to consider. So oh well. Hehehe leave it.

Mummy's thinking of going Taiwan in June. But the thing is I'm making her to choose between going with her darling neighbors or me. Haha Jeannee said I was too mean to make her choose . But I have no choice. she wants me to go with her, but i hate going with those bunch of irritating people. those who think they know everything but they know nothing but shit. darn hate how arrogant n yaya papaya they can be. aeghhh

N i think we should hav a gathering for s10 soon. guess everyone will be busy later on when the girls start working. we will see what we can do .hahah

i wish i can leave EM soon. im so sick of that place. office politics is not the worst thing, trust me. it's when you are in a dept with mostly females and your team is basically v v clique. you cant get it and they wouldnt "let you off". I dunno how to describe but it sucks big time. Like example ok, i have this bitch in my team who LOVES to do this to me, despite knowing me for four fucking months already. She will walk to my table, then say "uhhhhh, uhhhhhh , uhhhhh I forgot your name! HAHAHA! uuhhhhhh, Oh!" then call out my name. like that. and pls this happened not in the first month, jus 2 weeks ago. fucking hell.... and she did it like probably 4 times already? if not, she will call my name, then "OHHH sorry! I called wrongly!". like tat. for hundred and one times already. i mean when the person is not doing on purpose you will know? she will sound genuinely apologetic. but then, she's not. she sound so fake. especially the laughter. gosh how i hate it.

i need to get away.

i wanna get burberry blue. but the designs are not pretty this season! so wasted. hahaha...

crOwn_clOvera 4/27/2008 08:31:00 PM

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

I was trying to do out my resumes andget the necessary documents ready and guess what? I found so many memories! Hahaha. I couldn't believe I actually kept things like my SAT score, the letter SMU & NTU sent for placement that time, and what else, erm right, my CCA records for in secondary school, and all my report books! Hahaha I was so amused but all those stuff. Then I started reading the diaries I had back then ( Yes I do keep diary). Hahaha. Alright should be I kept diaries. In anyway, I was reading the diaries from JC.. Boy I was so very much amused. I was reading how I felt that time, of life and of what I was going through that time. It was kind of interesting 'cause I have such bad memory. I can't remember things very well you know. Then I read all those that had happened in my everyday life, and how I felt at that very moment. Some were so foreign such that I went OMG it happened?? kind of thing.. Hahaha.. Especially the part when I was undergoing what was seemed to be very emotional period to me back then. Hahahah. How childish. But actually I do want to remember more details bout that period, so I was really into reading those entries. But well, as usual, I'm not a person good at words, hence not expressive enough even in words. Still alot of missing pieces here and there. I wonder should I find it fortunate that I forgot bulk of that memory. Hahaha. But still, I'm darn amused.

Then I went to read up on those diaries I had back when I was around 12 I think. ARRGGHH you know what kind of things I wrote "I don't want to play monopoly 'cause I'm already in sec sch"!!!! Gasps!! First, the language was bad enough. Secondly, what kind of crap is that!!! I still do play monopoly now!! HAHAHA....

Didn't really blog much recently 'cause I was sick for quite some time. Quite bad, had fever and sorts. But one darn good thing bout being sick and working. I get sick leave!!! HAHAHAH. Had 2 days MC and a day of leave last week. HAHAHA I was soooo elated.

And yes, I'm still think of the stay-or-leave issue. Well I guess it really depends on whether I find a better offer. Then decide later on. Right.

Oh did I mention!! I'm super into MAHJONG now!! HAHAHA...

Ahhh I'm not really in the right frame of mind now. It's almost 2 am and I'm waking up in bout 5 hrs. Crap.

Oh yeah and mummy and jeannee's bdays just past. We got really really reallly delicious cakes. Hhhaah. One from the bakery at taka and the other's from Hilton. The Hilton cheesecake is darn good. Super rich. And for mummy's 50th bday, we went Tung Lok Signatures as well. Spent alot for her bday this year. Guess more or less is to pacify her and to outshine our bloody neighbours. Hahaha. But esriously, the food at Tung Lok is bloody good. Super doper.

Ok really, my language gets really bad into the late night. I can't even type correctly.

Good night everyone. =)) Mahjong this sat!!!! WOOO HOOO~~~ hahaha

crOwn_clOvera 3/12/2008 01:23:00 AM

Monday, February 11, 2008

I have been thinking alot recently. Think I'm growing old.

What is it that I really want.

Well when you have no idea you look around. You see one of your colleague, works till 8plus 9 everyday, probably 1 am sometimes, and you wonder why she worked so late. And one day when you worked late you realised she simply walks around and did minimal. Then you wonder is this really want you want. Do you want to work late everyday? But then again, you wonder real hard what's the reason behind working late when there's no OT pay?

Then well you see another. She leaves quite on time. 'Cept for certain days when she can't finish her work, so she leaves at probably 630 latest. Then she hardly talks to anyone. Probably lunch with who and who and someone else on another. Time's up she leaves. You wonder is this what you want? You wonder why is it that she isn't trying hard to mix with others and not trying make more friends around by socializing more. Then you wonder again, will socializing around really make you friends with your colleagues?

Then you see another. He socializes hell lots. Spends half of his work time on phone or chatting with another. He smiles and jokes at any other. He can strike a conversation with almost every other. Then you wonder why is it that it just seem so easy for him to hold a conversation. You try to learn from it. But it doesn't seem to work when the other parties simply aren't interested in interacting more.

You wondered alot. Then you realised you're giving up slowly as the days past. Then you gave up smiling at everyone. No point appearing really smiley. In the end they might just think that you are Just another intern. Well then you think, alright, probably just be nice and smiley to your team. But it doesn't go your way when they are already in a clique. Nobody really bothers to hold a conversation with you. They simply laugh at their own jokes. You try to ask and hope to laugh together for the first few times. Then slowly you gave up as sometimes they answer you, sometimes they provide you with an answer that requires you to ask more questions, or sometimes ignore whatever you asked.

You realized the world isn't as simple. In Uni, when you don't like that person, all you have to do is ignore and meet your friends after meeting or during lunch. That easy. And bitch all about the person and laugh your ass off.

But it isn't the case anymore. In office, no one bothers to listen to your reasons. How good how bad. Sometimes you tear as you wonder why are you going through all those shit. Then you realise this is so minute, there are still alot ahead. So you push yourself forward. Then after a while the same question surface again, why are you faking yourself? why can't you get into their conversation? why this and that. Then you get all depressed and it repeats itself. Then you tell yourself that probably it's just the beginning. You console yourself that beginning is always like this. Then you wonder again after one month is this really the reason. Or is it that you are the one with problem. You start thinking bout your character and behavior. However hard you still can't resolve it.

WHat to do?

All I can do is what the hell.

Push it aside. If you can't stand it, just leave. But questions resurface as you already promised them to continue. You tell your friends "oh crap, I'll just tell them f**k off after my internship!" but you know it's impossible for you to ever do it. You know that there are repurcussions. YOu need to inform them probably a month ahead, or more, if you want to leave. Then the remaining one month, what are you going to do? How are you going to face your supervisor? And most imptly, how are you going to deal with that guilt of betraying the trust? Then someone tells you "they will kick you away someday, so why not do it first? Don't be such a saint and think of them! Think of yourself!" All the questions just love to run towards each other in circles.

And yes, I can only push it away.

I really think my life has been really wondering before this. That's good and bad. Good 'cause it saved me alot of brain cells. Bad 'cause I'm lost now. Totally. I can't even handle such a small issue. That I really mean it. I really think this IS a small issue. But I just can't solve it. How incapable.

crOwn_clOvera 2/11/2008 11:25:00 PM

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Goodness, it's been so long since I last sat on my sofa for so long. Hahaha. The previous two weeks were insane. Trying to get accustomed to working lifestyle is difficult enough. And there were bro's weddings.

The first one in KL was not bad, but not the food. I think the food is not worth the price. And we went genting for a short while on that Sunday as well. Super casino place and I really think it's a very fengshui place. As in the fengshui for the casino is so "strong". Erm bad explanation, in exact is when we went into the casino we felt the strange feeling. Ahh yes to explain it correctly, the aura in the casino is so strong. Do you call it aura?? hahahaha I'm gibberish again.

Then this one in Singapore. Well.. I think I'm not pretty enough on that day. Should have swapped the clothes around. Hai. I look so not glam for the Singapore wedding. And what' worse, one of Jeanie's sisters wears the same dress!! Exact ok. Darn it.

But I love the food at Fullerton. I mean, well you pay for the price. Oh well.

As for work.. To make it sound nicer I was offered a job with them 1 week into the job. But in actual fact is because I have to stay with them for the next half year and they need people to take over some empty role and I am the only one available. To get another person in will run the risk of the person leaving in a few months which they don't want. And they kindda make me do a verbal promise to stay for another half a year. But then it's only a contract job. Definitely, pay is not high, little benefits and sorts. Why did I go for it? I asked myself alot of times. I really think the only reason is because of the things they promised that I will learn. I do hope. Sup say she will let me take over the recruitment of a certain area of EM. I really hope so.

And what's worse, they work OT EVERYDAY. My goodness gracious me. I've already told myself, I will only work for OT when I can't meet deadlines. That's it. They seem to love doing OT. Haha. I don't know. Really, I'm just secretly wishing that the low paying and OT in the future will be paid off with the experience. I kept telling myself that it's only a year compared to my lnog lnog working years in the future. Ahhhh I'm having doubts again.

Nevermind. It's not that glam to be offered, really. 'Cause I'm not a perm worker. Alot of reasons. Hai.

'Nuff of that. Oh, I saw this incident on MRT that day. There was this probably seven or eight month pregnant lady standing. And she was standing right in front of those seated and you know what?? They all just ignored. OH MY. I couldn't believe it, ok. I mean don't know even see that it's very difficult for pregnant ladies to stand for a long period of time? Ok probably you are a guy you don't care, but think, would you want your wife, mother, loved ones to be treated the same way?? And for the ladies even more so! How could you! I can't believe. Gosh. Think of others, please.

And I was reading Jodi Picoult's Vanishing Acts a while ago, and I teared. I was reading the part where the guy lead was explaining how much the female lead mean to him. Oh goodness it was so real and touching. Hahaha.

It's like.. Not that you found the right person or what, but the person has been with you for so long you cannot even imagine life without the person. This doesn't apply only to your partner, but your loved ones on the whole. I can't imagine my life without my family. And this is why I always pray that they don't go before me. I rather be the first one to go. But this is selfish too, 'cause they wouldn't want to face me going as well. Quite a solemn issue but it's quite meaningful, as in the book. I love all Picoult's books. But there's this problem with me where I will be so "into" the story that I lose myself. I hope not this time round.

And bout this, I think it's really when you enter a new stage in your life that you realise how impt your loved ones are. That day I was so tired. Very very tired of work and my life. I couldnt reconcile the things that I'm doing and what I want to do in the future. The unknown period. So it was quite a low period for me. Then that night I met William for dinner. I was wondering around Vivo 'cause I don't wanna work late at office, then when he came quite some time later, I wasn't angry with him, I simply smiled. So elated to see him. That things don't seem that bad. It's those kind of feeling..

Hehe yeah meeting they all tmr. Now that you are working.. You've realised that it's so important to meet up with everyone. Really. Working makes me feel that I'm missing out alot of things. I can't stand the part where I must sleep before 1230 everynight. I tried not sleeping so much. But it didn't work out 'cause I ended up havnt a bad day the next day.

And I was stupid enough to not send in the form for processing my salary. Darn. No money for the first month. STUPID. No money for CNY!!! DAAARN!

crOwn_clOvera 1/24/2008 10:48:00 PM

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

I miss the horses. I wanna see Chester and JP and Mistof and Ruby and they all. I miss grooming them. Probably I will go back soon. But work's really tiring and there are so much things to do. Argh..

crOwn_clOvera 1/15/2008 12:06:00 AM

Monday, January 14, 2008

Woah I really disappeared for like a week plus. Was really tired for this whole of last week and time passed really fast.

Work was quite alright. Mundane. The only appropriate word.
I was told to do the usual stuff.. printing, photocopying, etc. Some nice things are like being part of the orientation team for the new hires and etc. I have to say that I wasn't free for more than 15mins for the whole of last week so it's quite a busy week.
But then again. I can't. I'm not suited for this job. Probably this conclusion came too early you might think but I can foresee the things that I will be doing if I continue. It will not be what I want. I'm a person who wants results and recognition. I want to do things fast and accurate. I want instructions to do given clearly etc. The culture there was just different from my ideal. Probably I should change what I wish for to the reality. But I guess I still have the luxury to imagine. But then again to stay in this job for 6mths kindda terrifies me. Day in day out I've been trying to talk to them and make friends with everyone in the department, but the thing is, some of them are so aloof that I frightens me. And I'm afraid of over doing the big-smiley-face thing that gives others the impression that I'm bimbotic. I don't know how to look capable and yet easy to talk to. Right I know, it takes time. In anyhow, work is alright.

On the happier side, Gor's wedding was quite fun. I took almost 2.5 hrs to do my hair and my makeup. Enjoyed it hell lots. Cause I watched alot of youtube videos with how to draw smokey eyes and how to do hair buns sort of vids and I was afraid I couldnt produce what I want. Thankfully, I'm quite satisfied with the results. Hehehe.

I think I should go sleep soon. But I need to bath first I think. Hahaha it's 12am. Now I've finally understand why people say working ain't fun at all. Life's still restricted cause you need to sleep alot. Probably I will try to get accustom to this and try to sleep later. Adjust my biological clock more. I don't know. I feel so in need of time for myself. Probably too much of nua time in the past that I'm missing them alot now. Hahahah.

I feel so dumb-ified at work by doing those stuff. But oh well, everyone needs to start somewhere. Perhaps I should change my mindset.

crOwn_clOvera 1/14/2008 11:11:00 PM

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Christmas is finally over. Gosh it's THE most tiring xmas I ever had. The first party was completely insane. Spent days to prepare for it, especially for the food list. Worrying over the amount, worrying about the varieties, fretting over the preparation on that day and sorts. And there was the lack of sleep part as well. And the worst thing is when I have insufficient sleep, my temper will be rather bad. And then there was the clearing up part. OH MY. It's equally terrible. Scrubbing, sweeping, mopping, washing, packing, ......

But it really made me realise how difficult it had been all those while when we had family gatherings. Mummy was always the one who prepared almost everything and clear up and sorts. And the amount of food she prepared was even more. Gosh how did she manage to do it all the time. It's so darn difficult.

If not for my two darlings ying n wen and my beloved sister, I doubt we can have the party at all. Thank you so much babes. heheh

Another dinner at home today. Felt great meeting them, as usual. Hahaha. Oh my! We forgot to take pics together.. I always wonder how the few of us bond so well over just a few days in Taiwan. hahaha.

Another thing. I doubt I'm gonna host another party with big group of people again. It's toooo difficult for me. Look at the amount of food to prepare and the amount of money to be spent. And look at the effort that you have to spend on preparing everything and making things smooth. And look at the amount of pots, pans, plates, bowls, spoons, forks, cups, trays and so on to wash just for one day. Not to mention the tables and chairs. And one thing I hate, mopping and sweeping. AAAHHHH hate them. Well you can see, if it's just a small group, everyone can help out a little and things will be so much easier. But when it's a big group, bystander effect usually takes place. And the host will turn out to be on the losing end.
So you see, rather not. Dinner out would be a better choice for big groups.

But then again, perhaps I will change my mind again in the future. Hahaha I'm always so unpredictable.

And yeah... Daddy and mummy will be back in another 2 days.

I have alot of random thoughts in my mind. But I'm too tired to type them down. Since it's random, then it gotta be trivial. Hehehe.

crOwn_clOvera 12/26/2007 03:09:00 AM

Monday, December 17, 2007

Oh right, have been back for quite a few days already. But have been busy with the darn report that leaves me no time to blog. I guess I wouldn't be posting up pics as well. Too lazy to do it.

I had so much complaints that I want to blog here when I was back. But now, forget it. Those who pisses me off should know that I am pissed off. This sounds like I'm quite hard to be with, but seriously, look at those irritating and "gian berng" people, turns me off. FREAKS.

Probably I will still post some happy pics here. but not now. Gonna go out in a while to get the necessary stuff for the xmas party. I think we have to settle everything by today and mass msg those who are coming again. I bet alot of them forgot bout the party already.

Oh well I guess in every trip, every outing, you will realise that not everyone is what they had seemed to be. I just have to learn to live with it. Guess I'm still quite a difficult person eh?

Daddy and Mummy left for Xiamen already. When I fetched them to the airport today, I felt sad... and worried. It has been sooooo long since they go on tour without us. Probably ten years? Well at least this time round there's aunts, uncles and neighbours there to take care of them. But I'm still worried. Gosh, I'm like my Grandma already.

Haha shall post one pic, here's my dear pals in this trip. This trip wouldn't be so wonderful without them. =))

and look at how vain we were. hehehe.

crOwn_clOvera 12/17/2007 09:39:00 AM

Saturday, December 01, 2007

You know how much I've waited for the day, the day for exams to end and the day to try new life in the working world?

I realised it's not that much of a happy thing afterall. I've so wanted to end school. So badly.

But now, I'm in such depressed mood. I have no idea why the stark difference in expectations and reality. I'm feeling so..... so..... tired. Before exams ended, I was so excited, I wanted to pack my luggage so badly. But now, I don't even feel like doing it when the day of flying is tmr.

Why? I don't know why too.

Probably it's the cough syrup and the lack of sleep. Probably I'm worried bout leaving. But this is not like the first time. Hai, I'm simply clueless.

Probably getting more sleep will help. Haha.

crOwn_clOvera 12/01/2007 07:09:00 PM

Finally have the time to sit down and do blogging. Have been stopping myself from blogging due to exams. But as usual, I havnt really done much for my exams. I wonder how "good" will I get.. hahahaha.. In anyway I'm going Taiwan lo!!!! Have been so excited all these while. Especially the part where I get to buy winter clothes for Taiwan trip sake!! hahaahaha... Basically, I think I got like erm.. a coat, two turtlenecks, shoes, leggings etc for the trip.

But now I'm feeling a little jittery. I insanely went to volunteer to reserach on the places to go for those free nights and days, and for extension days. But guess what, I have no idea what to do. I think I've done quite a bit of research, but the thing is, the group is so diverse! How can I make the decision of go where? And the thing is since they don't know much, they wouldn't have any idea where they want to go too! Hahaha...

Anyway I believe it will be big spending there. But I will control. I believe.

But.. I think I cannot ever resist buying more winter clothes. Seriously, I LOVEEEEE winter clothes. The knit wear, the long loose tops with leggings and wide belt, the thick and comfy coats, the opaque leggings, the endless number of layering to be done. Woosh. I just totally, TOTALLY ADORE THEM!

And ya, there's this legendary figure around in my school. I wonder the number of people who don't know about her, probably countable by fingers? Hahahaha. She's insanely oblivious to her surroundings and shockingly living in her own world. And definitely, her means of getting good grades is to try ways and means to get into good books with the Profs. Woooaaaah. All those that she did. And guess what? She's in the same taiwan trip as me! Hahaha it should be "fun-filled"!

And for this trip, we got to form group with these couple. Ahhh how well we clicked. I love the fun we have together.

What else, I got addicted into online shopping, again. Hahhaa.

And I got my internship already. Thankfully. I had prayed for getting one before I leave for Taiwan, so I will be less worried there. And thankfully, really.

What else, oh yes, I havn't confirm the xmas party list. Shall do that after I'm back. Meanwhile you guys think of more ideas yeah? Hehehe.

Guess I need to go back to the reseraching thinggy.

Tired. I need more sleep. Daddy's been passing the flu, cough virus to me.

Somehow I feel my life is quite lost. Without any goals again. Oh well.

crOwn_clOvera 12/01/2007 01:37:00 AM

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

ATTENTION TO ALL S10 peeps!!!

I know some of you must be really stressed over exams now righhhttttt (some are working already, FINE =P )

In anyway, we are thinking of having a xmas party for s10 AGaIn!!! (yeah!!)

Kind of a party cum class gathering thing.. But this time round, it's gonna be at my hse.. (yeah!! :P)

Well details are tentative, but should be on 22nd Dec 2007, Saturday.

And here are the tentative details are as follows:

- let's put it at 7pm, but time is flexible coz the whole house is technically to me coz my parents and bro are not in singapore!

- attire: have to be red, green, and/or white. (by this, we mean ONLY these colors alright.. we dress up, take pretty pics.. how fun!! hahaha)

- if you want to be more creative, dress yourself up into a christmas related item! e.g. rudolf, santa, little elf, xmas tree, a present, socks etc...
- like for example, shuwen might be wanting to dress up into rudolf... then jackson can become the santa..den you two will look super matching..muahahahaa
- must dress up laaahhh!! make the party FUN~~~~

-and as usual, our $5 rule for xmas gift exchange! but with request from caiying, no milo allowed! quote "old jokes are boring and somemore its reserved already. get something else" =P

- for food and drinks wise.. if everyone is agreeable, i will collect 10 bucks and then i will get the food and drinks.. depending on the response..if it's within my means i can provide wine as well.. =)
- though i hope some of you can contribute like a log cake or some drinks or something lik tat.. pls tell me you are willnig k?? hahaha

And of coz, all partners are welcomed!!!! Just RSVP or direct any query to me, ying or wen k! for RSVP, pls try to do it by 10 dec so i can prepare the food k!

details can be confirmed later on but do keep that date free ok!!!

you wouldn't want to miss out the fun!!! HAHHAHA

crOwn_clOvera 11/06/2007 12:32:00 PM

Monday, October 22, 2007

"Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then suddenly we wake up and see all the mistakes we have made. But it is too late to change anything."

-- Calvin n Hobbes Quotes

crOwn_clOvera 10/22/2007 01:39:00 AM

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Goodness me, I met the "greatest" challenge of my life. QinJin called and asked me a question on Psyc.

That's really... Incredibly funny. HAHAHA.

He said I am a Psyc major and I should be well versed in it.

Of course I am, if I WAS diligent enough. Hahaha.

And what's worse, he asked on Cognitive Psyc, my most hated subject. FREAK.

In anyway, something happened at RDA last Sat again. My rider fell off AGAIN. Need I emphasize the thoughts that went through my mind.

Didn't really understand what happened and didn't really comprehend the whole thing. WHOLE THING. But nvm, as said, it's useless to blame whosoever.

In anyway, I'm not free now. I still have five more chapters to go for tomorrow's test.
GRRREEEEAAAAATTTT right??

BUT, I'm going for mani and pedi after that!!! Superb motivator.

I hope Jing be well and excel in her job!!! =))))

I hope Wen n Ying work hard for their FYP ar!!

Oh btw, did I mention? My term break's coming this Sat. Which means I will be free!!!
Anyone going out for drinking or what tell me. HHAHAHA

crOwn_clOvera 10/04/2007 09:50:00 PM

Monday, September 17, 2007

WAOH. I was looking through my oldest posts. I can't believe my language.. the words I've used.. everything.. They are all so childish! Hahahha.

But I came to a conclusion about myself. I am totally, utterly, simply, a Procrastinator.
I SAID I wanted to join CCAs that time, well you see, three years down the road I'm without any. Hahaha.

You know, I've promised myself. I will provide my kids with what they want. Not like mine.
Some things just happened and it totally affected me. Tired of all these.

crOwn_clOvera 9/17/2007 05:29:00 PM

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Mood: Utterly Elated.
Thrashing plus bitching session for four youngsters at home works incredibly.
Loves.

Agressive debator: seriously, i don't pride myself on it. Somehow or rather, it still bothers me. I know no matter how debate should BE like this, I did it in the wrong way still 'cause I'm deeply affected by social norms.
I'm afraid of going to Fri's class =(

No matter how much I tell myself let this be a lesson, I still can't get over it. I know I was wrong, but I can't help but keep thinking of it. Doesn't really solve anything but that's just me. I need better control of emotions. Hai.

I'm still slacking
Havnt started reading any shit, probably just FEW pages.
How pathetic it is when I know ying is so stressed over school now.
I have no idea
I just can't start. Too slack.

But thank god, this will be my last sem worrying over over over exams.
ENOUGH.

crOwn_clOvera 9/12/2007 12:51:00 AM

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

HAHAHA I'm still really excited by the Taiwan trip. HAHHAHAA

This trip is going from taipei to tainan. lalala

IT'S MY GRAD TRIP!!!

HAHAHAHHAHAA

LALALA

Gor's going Japan next year!!! How I wish I can go with them. But the thing is, I can't. There are various reasons:
1) Got to do internship ( I seriously hope, wish, pray, beg that I will get a good internship by December this year)
2) NO MONEY. Go there, no money, for what? I can't even enjoy myself 'cause the others (gor, jeannee, queenqueen) will ALL spend. I can't. That's how pathetic.
3) How to tell Sis that I'm going with them.
4) NO MONEY. period.

You know, I'm in class right now. Science Exploration for GE. I'm choosing this or another OBHR mod. I can't decide. But if I'm really getting this class I have to put my laptop at home.
EVIL.

OMG OMG OMG
THIS IS MY LAST TERM!!!
I'M GRADUATING SOON
I'M STARTING WORK SOON
AAAAAHHHHHHHH

YES, I'M REALLY BORED.

crOwn_clOvera 8/21/2007 11:16:00 AM

I AM GOING TAIWAN!!!! WE ARE GOING TAIWAN!!!! YEAH!!!!!

But I do hope we are not taking China Airlines.....
Hahaha.

crOwn_clOvera 8/21/2007 12:53:00 AM

Sunday, August 19, 2007

=(

On what basis did you choose? Please, the others please tell Prof you don't want to go. And please, choose william to go on the trip.

This sounds really bad but I don't wanna go alone. I couldn't even understand how Prof choose. Why are things so out of my control. I don't really like lack of locus of control thinggy. It sucks.

Life's tiring.

Stop scolding me stupid 'cause I really want to start work soon.

Not for the sake of ending school work or what, it's to get a change in my 22 years of mundane life.

I'm not stupid just because I'm different from what you want.

Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I need to gain more control. Stop being not knowing what is going on. Stop being bullied.

=(

My thoughts are always so random that I don't really understand how I process stuff.

crOwn_clOvera 8/19/2007 02:26:00 AM

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Oh yes, the thing between my mama and me is really getting worse. Hahaha.
I AM really trying hard not to provoke her. But I refuse to let her dominate as the Alpha Female. NOOOO way.

And I realise I really really love horses. They are so adorable. And Ruby (my current horse) gave me a love bite that day. Hahaha it actually meant that she's naughty, not really the kinky type. Hahaha. But they are sooo cute.

Yawn.

crOwn_clOvera 8/08/2007 01:39:00 AM

Havn't had the energy, motivation, power, whatsoever to blog. Have been rotting these days.

My life was just about slacking, watching online dramas, going out once in a while. That's about it I guess. William comforted himself by saying that this is our last chance to slack. Oh well. That is to say if I find a job by year end.

Met up with the IO people today and I really enjoyed it. We were really chatty! Hahah. Oh ya, then halfway through the dinner I went toilet and I was approached by some guy. He told me he's not from modelling agency. But some artiste management company or what. Quite surprised and I didn't even smile 'cause I was so self-conscious bout my teeth. The ugly stuff.

Never the mind. Wen, Jing, and Ying all commented that I watched too much of dramas. Well you know I have a boring life so I need to watch dramas to pass time. Haha.
I'll try to cut down. But that's so difficult you know. =)

Bought quite a bit of stuff online. The first item arrived and it's rather disappointing. 'Cause of my long body. The top was too short for it. Hahaha. Oh well, I can't help it. I doubt there's some surgery that will shorten my spinal cord right? ;P

Yawn, I should go bath. It's almost 2am. Ahhh dirty.

crOwn_clOvera 8/08/2007 01:28:00 AM

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Went shopping with Wen last week. That was hell lotsa fun 'cause I spent. I always wonder why women (most of them) loves shopping and spending. I mean that kind of excitement and rejuvenation you get from shopping is really incredible. But the downside is the one who accompanies the one who shops. Ahem that is, if you go shopping and you cant really find something you like, whereas the other person buys alot, you get kindda depressed. That happened to Wen 'cause her shoe-finding was met with quite a few obstacles. And that happens to me when I go shopping with Sis. Haha.

Then I saw Peiying and she told me she didn't really shop much in HK. It surprises me yet not really. I think basically I forgot to tell them the gist of it. You get to buy cheap stuff, but some of the places forbid trying. And this is OKIE for me and Sis, but not for Peiying I guess. And I told her how much I love Man Ji dessert, she told me it sucks. Hahaha.
Not really offended or whatsoever, but more of the expectations thinggy. When someone tells you this thing is damn god delicious, would you have the same reaction as that person? I doubt so.

And the rift between me and mama got worse. I refuse to budge and well, she's my mum so same goes for her. Oh well, heck.

And I think Ying is in HK now. I'm not really sure but hope you enjoyed!!

Oh the problem between me and mama started from my birthday I think. Jack asked if I had enjoyed my bday, I was too lazy to explain so I said I had. But no I didn't. SHe had this force and make-me-guilty thinggy on me, forbiding me from going out, insisting that I stay home to 'celebrate' my bday with the NEIGHBOURS. How weird is it?!?!? No friends, no relatives. With neighbours. I was so pissed. I still am. I mean we are not even close~! okie maybe my parents with them but what the hell has it got to do with me. Made me so pissed. She expects me to abide to whatever she thinks is CORRECT for me. I'm like her pawn. Her pawn for portraying the goodie family shit. Fuck you.

Ahhh nvm. OHHH!! Jing is coming back!! OMG... Sending her to airport was like 2 days ago???
I hope I can find her you know.. 'Cause she might be too dark.. HEHEHE. But oh I think ZHen will be worse. Hahaha joking joking. :))) I miss you all.

crOwn_clOvera 7/11/2007 02:42:00 PM

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Why do people have depression???? And why it will lead to suicidal thoughts? Dammit.

Now it makes me even more worried about ah ma. No one know what she wants and she herself don't even know what she wants. And without knowing the cause, how do you treat?

One should really keep in mind that if one day they know that they are in depression, one has to seek help. Or at least tell someone.

crOwn_clOvera 6/30/2007 02:10:00 PM

I'm gone for so long. Been busy and lazy. Ah ma's issue is really a headache. Old people really cannot get depression sia. I hope my mama will not turn out the same way. I hope I wouldn't too.

I want to go Tokyo too. But I doubt I can. I have so many places I want to go to.
We really love travelling. I love that we love travelling. Hehe.

crOwn_clOvera 6/30/2007 12:46:00 PM

Friday, June 22, 2007

Havn't been resting at hm for 2 days. Ah ma's hospitalised and Sis and I had to stay there overnight. Tired.

crOwn_clOvera 6/22/2007 08:44:00 AM

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Day 3:

This day we went out of Hokkaido central and headed east because our tour is mainly of East Hokkaido. Headed to Otaru and started the day with visit to Ishiya Chocolate Factory, which was started by some Japanese who managed to combine white chocolate with biscuits. Somehow this biscuit became one of the things you have to buy when you are in Hokkaido.
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It kindda looks like a Willy Wonka factory, just not as pretty. Hehehe. They had their workers in the same clothes, which made them look even more like fake ones. Then there were delicious cakes again. Not really fantabulous, just about the same standard as bakerzin. But the boss of Ishiya is really clever, the tour guide said he turned his dad's confectionary shop into what it is now. WoAH.

Pretty flowers again. They have pretty flowers everywhere, why not Singapore! Because of our temperature?

Then we went to some river. It's kindda unique because of the stark difference in the buildings on both sides. One is age old building, the other side are modern ones.
It's quite nice 'cause there are painters selling their pieces along the river, someone playing the violin, then other selling small little stuff. Quite cool and it's impossible to find this in Singapore.

Then we went to Otaru Music Box Musuem. OMG, you know they have so pretty carousels!!!!! My favourite one is the left bottom one. But it cost 37,600Yen. That is around 500sing. Puurfect. In the future, I will buy it.

There were other things along the street of Otaru Music Box Musuem. Otaru is famous of it glass work, but not interested and it's so difficult to bring the stuff back, so we just shopped around other shops and mummy bought even more food stuff.

Next it was dinner already. Had quite a few meals of steamboat in Hokkaido. Perhaps they like it, but it's not really that delicious to me after eating it for a few days. But we still had delicious stuff like hotate and crab. Heheh.

This are some random pics I took. I really love the views while coaching. I snapped ALOT while coaching. Heheh.

Then we went to Sounkyo Grand Hotel for our night. And there's onsen! Hot spring. Me and mummy went onsen after dinner. The whole thing was quite funny, cause we had to sit on a stool to bath before going in and sorts. Then the room is in tatami style. I love the pillow. But papa didn't had a good rest 'cause he don't like the pillow. I wanna find that pillow. They say it can be found in Taka. Heheh

Day 5:
Went to some waterfalls nearby. The tour guide told us that if we climb up some stairs we would see two waterfalls nearer as compared to seeing them on ground level. So I believed her and climbed like shit up the steps. Goodness me, in the end it "appears" nearer because we are further away from the two waterfalls as compared to ground level! Darn I felt cheated, what's the big deal and she made it sound as if it's a miracle. CHee. Nvm in anyway it's pretty.

Then we went to their Fox farm, and it's really a farm. 'Cause the fox are just a few and that's it. Nothing else. I thought there will be cages or really tourist like places. Nope there isn't, we just stood their fed the foxes, took some pictures and left. Ha.

Then we went to the Pink Moss Garden. Again, I don't understand why they name their places like this. Hahaha in anyway it's at least 10 times the size of normal gardens. The pink moss were really pretty. The whole slope was filled with pink moss and they were selling pink moss ice cream too. Hahaha.

Then they have those little cars where you can drive in, ahh I forgot the name for these kind of ride. In anyway we were so excited after one ride that we went again! So the first time Sis and Bro drove, the next round me and Jeannee drove. Hahaha it felt damn good. We were screaming and shouting and had hell lots of fun there. It's kindda like a going back to childhood experience kind of thing. I mean it's really nice. Really.

Ahh ya La! It's called go-cart right?Hehe

Then it was actually that's it for the day. But the tour guide brought us to two other places which were along the way back to hotel. How nice of her.

It's some stopping place along the mountain roads and the scenery were really pretty. Gorgeous I mean. As someone said, the view looked as if they were off the postcards! Hehehe.

Another place that she brgt us to was the active mountain. Don't remember the name but she wanted to show us the sulphur there. There we were and Daddy went right to the mountain to take videos. They steamed eggs using the steam from the mountain too. I guess they like to do this, the people at New Zealand did this too. No need to pay for gas hor?

Some of the food stuff we bought. I wanted to try their tea. As much as I can, but there wasn't alot of chances. Ocha!

Alrighty, I've spent an hour plus already. Tired. And we have to go neighbor's hse for dinner. HOW NICE.

Been thinking bout what can I do to my face. When we went for the famine camp dry run yesterday, Siew Hui was telling me my face looked worse. The usual me will be taken aback and felt hurt or what shit, but then, I wasn't yesterday. Perhaps I know it DOES look like shit now. I have no idea why my face is like this now. So many pimples. I hate them. The worse thing is I can solve it. I had to apply so much concealer to make it less obvious. Perhaps the concealer might be making things worse. But Sis said is because of my itchy hands. (I will squeeze my pimple) Hehe. Alright shall not do that anymore. Darn.

And been thinking bout what Ying said also. Yeah became more diplomatic. Not really what I had wanted. Like who wants right. You know you can give reasons like that's life and that's how things works. But at the same thing you know that it isn't really how things work and it isn't really what you had wanted. Remember how much I detested these people in the past and I am part of them now. Then to make myself feel better sometimes I give myself reasons like I'm not really like them, I'm still different from them. Self defence mechanism working. Ahh my mind is always in a fight. One mind but still fighting.

In anyway, I havn't been shopping! Can you believe. Hahahaha. Good me. But well the reason is because I'm totally broke. I can't really work so I have income only from mama. And that income is so unpredictable and hard to get. She NAGS you know. Argh.
But actually I can work, seeing how the others give tuition and earn bucks from there makes me wonder if I can do it as well. Eventually I will just conclude that I can't 'cause I don't want to fail again. If the student doesn't perform I will blame myself. Nah. Summer term gonna start again so let me rest for another week.

Perhaps I should get books to pass time. Need some anger management book. To be specific, I need handle-mama books. I somehow derive satisfaction by irritating my mummy. HAHAHAHA. Sadistic lah. I know there is always a better way of expressing myself but towards her, I can't. I will always spite her and rebuke her. Perhaps her reaction makes me happy. HAHAHA.

crOwn_clOvera 6/10/2007 03:38:00 PM

Friday, June 08, 2007

Alrighty! Got all the pics of Hokkaido from Gor. But the thing is I wonder how long will I take to blog all of them. We took 2000plus pics. Hahah I thought there were like 3k. And there's videos too. Gosh I have to put them together. Why did I even mention this to them that i can't take back my words now. Darn stupid. hehe.

Okie let's do one by one, let's see how long will I take.

Day 1:
We made our way to airport at around 6am thanks to my KIASU bro. Hehe. Then we flew for 7 hours to Tokyo Narita Airport. I think there isn't direct flight from Sing to Hokkaido, so we had to do a transit. Then finally we took another 1.5 hours to reach Hokkaido and that was around 6pm already.

I realise those with mei mei tou will touch their fringe like this very often.

My my my, I cannot recall why were we sooo happy at that moment. We were only at the airport! haha

Ahh then why am I the only one excited now?

Hokkaido welcomes you!

Then we went to a hotel nearby, Hotel Nikko Chitose for dinner and stay. Now here's the fun part. Have always heard that Japanese have really fun toilets. There are really omoshiroi!!

Press on one of the buttons, then it will spurt water on your asshole to clean it for you. Daddy says it's really clean. Hahaha. I've tried but i don't think it's that clean. Hahahaha.

Then me and sis saw the yukata (I think this's the name, can't really catch what the tour guide said) and we wore it to parade! hahaa

Then that was Day 1. Fun eh. Hahaha.

Day 2:
Woke up really early (to me) and these were the pics I took of the roads. Really clean, the whole place was really peaceful. Nice nice place.

One of the pics I took on coach. And throughout the trip, I realised their houses are generally very squar-ish. Not like those we have in Singapore, glass windows, shiny layout, etc. Conventional I guess.

Then we headed to the Bear Ranch.

The bears were really cute! 'Cause we bought food for the bears ( from the owners of course), and the bears could recognise we were holding delicious stuff, so they did all sorts of stunts to gain our attention. Hahaha. Some clapped, some said Hi to us and waved, one of it told us gong-xi-fa-cai, and one rock-a-by-baby. hahaha.

The was the scenery outside the Bear Ranch. And yes, Mummy started buying already. So 'Proud' of her.

Oh and this, initially I thought it's cherry blossom. In the end i realise it isn't. So other flower and I only know the chinese name 'cause the tour guide only told us in Chinese - Tao2 Hua1.

Then we went to Ainu musuem, apparently Ainu are those olden days tribal people of Hokkaido. Most of the names of the places in Hokkaido is in Ainu language. Of course again, the scenery was perfect.

Then we managed to do a little shopping around Sapporo central area. Sis gor and jeannee went Burberry Blue label and this is only available in Japan. Then we went to a shop that sells chocolate and we bought hell lots of chocolate and food stuff there. Mainly gifts cause they are packaged so prettily.

And the Sapporo TV Tower is nearby, the tallest building in town.

And to make pictures prettier, they grew pretty flowers nearby.

Then we went for dinner at some teppanyaki place. We had a choice of purchasing extra food (abalone and Kobe beef) and of course all of us did. The buffet dinner was okie, but the abalone and Kobe beef was fantabulous. AHHHH KOBE BEEF. It's damn good. Damn damn damn good!!!! I'm hungry now.

So that was it for Day 2. And I think that's it for now. I'm tired tomorrow's gonna be a long day cause there's the famine camp dry run. Yawns. I'm sian of it already. Hahaha I'm mean. Shall upload more pics again.

crOwn_clOvera 6/08/2007 11:12:00 PM

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Hey yeah! I'm back from Hokkaido. You can't imagine how much my family love Japan. Hahaha we made a pact to go back Japan next year even before we are back.
The country is so pretty, so clean, so cultured. Everything is wonderful to me, at least most of them.

The pictures are still with Gor, I hope they are ready already. 'Cause gor had one and I had one camera, so we took so many pictures. I think it should be around 3000 pics ba. Hahaha.

I think I have to do out a combination of videos and pictures for papa to make them happier. Haha 'cause the Aust trip, which was a year ago, the videos are only out few weeks ago. I'm so lazy and draggy.

And results for summer term is out. Happy la. It doesn't really affect me much now 'cause it's impossible to climb up another cum laude. So forget it.

And I was chatting with William just now and we had this BIG realization. We two had "half-fucked" relationships before. Hahahaha I found this word so funny, yet so descriptive. Hahahahahaha.

I will wait for the pictures to be ready, then I will upload them soon.
And yes, mama bought hell lotsa things. All of us bgt just minimal, mummy was soooo happy due to the amount of stuff she brought back. Our luggages were, expectedly, over the limit. Way over. It was insane. The customs didn't fine us luckily. SHall describe more later la.

I'm a little sian of the famine camp. Hahaha lazy again I guess. I just want to slack and rot till another summer term starts in less than 2 weeks.

crOwn_clOvera 6/07/2007 11:20:00 PM

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Oh ya! During KTV that day, we saw MTVs with carousels!! I've decided. I want to go to that carousel. I have no idea where is it but I will try to find out. How I wish my wedding has such carousels. How beautiful.

crOwn_clOvera 5/29/2007 01:17:00 AM

Havnt been blogging much 'cause I'm too lazy to. Quite alot of things happened and I'm plain lazy to blog.

Heading for Hokkaido on Wednesday. Yes yes there's excitement but I dunno how to translate to words now.

'Cause I just received a mail for Jia Hui. Well the story happened on Saturday during RDA session. It was a normal session and as usual we had fun. Then during the session itself my rider fell off the horse. We were told to trot with the instructor around and then when we wanted to trot, my rider fell off 'cause he didn't hold on to the saddle. it was really a traumatising thing for me. Thank God nothing happened to my rider 'cause the horse stopped in time. After that i was really affected and I wanted to recall whatever has happened. I wanted to recall every single bit to know who should be blamed, am I really at fault. But after much thought i realised so what if I shouldn't be the sole person at fault? So what if there are other people at fault? It doesn't help. All I should do is to learn from it.
Now I know that even if given the command to trot, I should have checked properly. I should have made sure that my rider was ready. 'Cause eventually no one, other than the leader, will be blamed for any mistakes.

Then Jiahui sent me a mail today. She wanted to assure me that I've done well in the past and I shouldn't be affected by this incident. I was really touched 'cause that incident other things happened that made me really unhappy. Oh well, I just gotta learn from it and not make such mistakes again, or any mistakes to be exact.

And did I mention I've stopped dance classes? Stopped around a month ago. Due to various reasons. One is of 'course Jing. Now that she's in US, no one's going with me and it's really boring and scary to go alone. Another reason would be my expectations. Initially I gave myself till the end of the year, if my skills are not as good as I've set, then I will give up. I guess I've decided to give up earlier.

Can't remember what else happened.

Wen didn't sound right when I talked to her just now. I wonder what happened.

On a lighter note, I've packed my bag! Luggage I mean. Jeannee decided on what to wear like weeks ago. And Sis told me she wrote down sets of clothes that she is bringing. So I did the same also. I made sure i brought extra sweaters and jackets.

Oh ya! I saw Elaine at Far East that day. I seem to bump to her quite often. Haha.

And I went KTV with Wen n Ying that day. I think next time when we go KTV we should invent more activities other than singing. It gets boring after a while.

Alright. Shouldn't have time to blog again before I'm back. And I need to continue packing now :)

crOwn_clOvera 5/29/2007 12:40:00 AM

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Oh and if you are free go to William's can? I feel so dumbified. http://www.ultrablog.com.sg/blog.asp?u=kwaytiao

Damn busy these days. Darn. Projects. It will be all over by next Wednesday.

Jing: take good care of yourself okie? Don't tire yourself too much. :)

Ying: Girl girl did u receive my msg? I will bring the bacon. ANd we meet up when Wen comes back k? Wen you coming back le right! Hahaha.

crOwn_clOvera 5/17/2007 11:16:00 PM